


Little Deaths

by sugarandspace



Series: 3B fics [6]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Death, Gen, Introspection, Mortality, Post-Episode: s03e10 Erchomai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-14 16:22:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18055934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarandspace/pseuds/sugarandspace
Summary: Magnus is dying.





	Little Deaths

**Author's Note:**

> ... yeah, another short angsty thing.

Magnus is dying.

In his centuries of living there have been a few close calls, injuries barely healed in time and mental pain that nearly led to his end. But this - this is something completely new.

It’s a slow kind of death and even though Magnus can’t possibly physically sense it, it feels like he can. It’s like he can feel his cells getting weaker, his body getting more frail. He’s incredibly aware of his limits, of everything his body can and can’t take. A wrong move, and he can be irreversibly injured. A wrong kind of diet, and it can chip away five, ten, maybe twenty years of his life.

His years are limited, and it’s a strange concept to Magnus.

Death is the same for everyone, no matter how it comes or when. But when you’re immortal your relationship with it is different. There’s no set timeline for your life, you can live to see the end of the world or you can die at your twenties, and there’s no way of knowing which it will be.

What sets their deaths apart from the mortals is the fact that the death of an immortal is rarely peaceful. There’s no such thing as sleeping away, of dying of old age and simply passing away. Their options are more violent, it’s either death by someone’s hand, or a death by accident. A death one can rarely prepare for, unlike mortals. They know that if they manage to avoid violent deaths and accidents, there is an end in the horizon. If nothing else, time will take them away. 

Time has never been Magnus’ enemy like that.

He looks back at the past sixty years and it feels like a blink of an eye. Is that how fast the rest of his life will pass, or will it speed up as he gets closer to the end? 

As he gets weaker.

If he’s lucky enough to get sixty years, how many of those years will he be healthy? How many will he be able to walk? To talk? Is he vulnerable to mundane illnesses like dementia now? How many losses will he suffer before the time takes away his life? 

How many little deaths there will be, before he meets his end?

The knowledge of a certain end feels far more daunting than the threat of an unexpected one did. Why worry, when you have no way to prepare? 

The problem is, he’s not sure how he even could prepare. He has no other choice but to walk forward, knowing that he’s walking towards his death.

Each step taking him closer.

Magnus is dying, and the feeling is new and daunting.   

**Author's Note:**

> [You can find me from tumblr too!](https://www.sugarandspace.tumblr.com)


End file.
